I’m doing a Kickstarter to buy Ted Cruz a Fleshlight
Follow
Anthony Bourdain
@Bourdain
Enthusiast.
Anthony Bourdain’s Tweets
Frequently, I’ve come to regret things I’ve said. This, from 2001, is not one of those times:
Before entertaining the ridiculous notion of arming teachers, worth considering the NYPD stat for hitting their target in gun fight is 18%
A lawyer with 3 clients and 16 cell phones sounds totally legit .
Take her out for ice cream? Maybe even buy her a pony? twitter.com/toddstarnes/st
This Tweet is unavailable.
At least when the left is angry with me on twitter, they can spell
New Yorkers have known who and what Trump is for decades. The rest of the country is now finding out.
Grateful to for the well timed marathon of all-Africa #PartsUnknown . People should SEE the countries our pres calls “shitholes”!
I am not "boycotting" anything. I choose to not patronize chefs who tacitly support deporting half the people they've ever worked with.
A teenager speaks more eloquently, forcefully and honestly than any craven, gutless politician snappytv.com/tc/7142199
If a friend wrote me to assure me that he was a “ very stable genius” it would be cause for concern
Teachers are having a hard enough time in this economic/political climate teaching our kids to fucking read. You are going to magically turn them into trained responders in a live fire situation in a crowded confined space? In what alternate Bret Ratner universe?
Yeah yeah yeah, I know. I’m a crank. But the word “royals” just ...will never go down easy. Only person I ever felt comfortable referring to as “Prince” came from Minneapolis
To How many seventeen year olds have you dressed like they are, in your words, "asking for it "? google.it/amp/www.dailym
Low plastic stool, cheap but delicious noodles, cold Hanoi beer.
Loathsome. A grotesque betrayal of a true patriot and hero
Quote Tweet
In a new low for Washington, yesterday @chefjoseandres was asked to leave the Alfalfa dinner after-party at @CafeMilanoDC by its owner, Franco Nuschesse, apparently because his presence made Ivanka Trump uncomfortable (Cafe Milano is the watering hole of the Trump Admin).
The execs at companies who did this should serve more jail time than any street level dope dealer.
I don’t know why it’s so important to me, but I’d REALLY like to see the president working chopsticks with those tiny, vestigial nubbins .
I have had firearms pointed at me in anger . Robbed at gunpoint twice, hostile militias, roadblock shakedowns. Trying to imagine my high school biology teacher going full John Wick on any of them . Can’t quite see it .
Call me crazy, but if I threw a party and a bunch of nazis showed up, it might inspire a little self inspection
Inadvertently and unwillingly saw the halftime show while eating at the bar.
I feel myself spiraling into a deep dark hole of rage and depression .
Yesterday. Tillerson responds forcefully to Russian nerve agent attack in UK. Today. Tillerson fired.
Learning to spell “shithole” would be a start twitter.com/SlimGlenn/stat
This Tweet is unavailable.
It’s worth reminding the Pres that Africa is a continent, not a country. That it is incredibly diverse—one part as different from the other as any places could be. Heartbreaking that this simple fact is beyond his notice or interest .
It’s been 18 years since anybody paid me for cooking . But feel free to send me a check, numbnuts. twitter.com/rindukamu17/st
This Tweet is unavailable.
Maybe not allowing mentally ill 18 year olds to legally buy assault weapons would be a reasonable start. I’d hope we could agree on this.
Agree or disagree with me, friend or foe: thank you to every one of 5 Million followers for giving a shit
Just a reminder : is a national hero . His efforts in Puerto Rico should inspire us all
It's spelled "Heroin". Also "Role". Also "you're". Even drunk I can spell one syllable words. twitter.com/jonny222/statu
This Tweet is unavailable.
I've been to Libya, Lebanon, Iraq, Iran Egypt and on and on. For years. Where you been? Applebees? twitter.com/ed_grimly/stat
This Tweet is unavailable.
You might consider actually reading your daily intel brief . Or I dunno, ask around the office .
Quote Tweet
My statement as to what's happening in Sweden was in reference to a story that was broadcast on @FoxNews concerning immigrants & Sweden.
Glad our president is bravely taking on the #Nordstrom Crisis! Our long national retail nightmare will soon be over!
When you went on record, you were sure this day would never come, that you would be crushed, that you were alone. And yet you did it anyway. #perpwalk
Paul Bocuse. A hero to me from my earliest days as a cook. A great, great chef who was very kind to me. To have spent time with him was an honor and a dream come true . Rest In Peace.
There’s a nauseating symmetry: both Trump and Weinstein used AMI(Enquirer) and Black Cube (Israeli private Intel) to do their dirty work
When a president preemptively calls for death for a defendant, it makes jury selection MUCH more lengthy, expensive, difficult
Looking forward to "THE BOURNE APOLOGY" in which Jason fights off attempts to expose a pimp
Let me help: “you’re” . Also , you add an “n” after the “a” before a word starting with a vowel twitter.com/squeekyandlove
This Tweet is unavailable.
If you ever bought Tony Robbins stream of pure bullshit , you are basically just another carnival rube.
I ain’t “woke”. I was lucky enough to meet one, truly extraordinary woman
I met a former Counterintelligence officer of the KGB once. Unlike some, I remember the experience. Vividly.
know what Hillary Clinton is NOT? She's not stupid. Or unsophisticated about the world. The Weinstein stories had been out there for years
Horrified and appalled at the cruelty and hypocrisy of a draft dodger demonizing anyone who chooses to serve.
Quote Tweet
QUICK QUESTION: Where the #CelebsChefs at w/ this whole #TransRightsAreHumanRights thing? Penny for ur thoughts @Bourdain... *saunters away.
I have a hard time picturing Spambo running towards anything that’s not a Fixins Bar or a buffet
1:05
From
Kyle Griffin
Russia deploying nerve agents in a British city would seem to demand a forceful response from the White House. Crickets
This place moves me like very, very few other places. And I been everywhere. #WestVirginia
Television production is a tough business. Prior preparation prevents piss poor performance . On location with director and DP Chris Doyle in Hong Kong TONIGHT
0:26
"I'm sorry, little fella', your body will grow up big and strong but I'm afraid the hands are another matter.."
Long overdue for this well known sack of shit:
You may henceforth address me as “Dr.” Bourdain # CIAgrads #CulinaryInstituteofAmerica
It’s where you stand when the people you care about and admire do awful things that matters. Keeping head down and hoping it goes away? No.
The number of tweeters suggesting I should have named any terrified, deeply damaged victims before they were ready to speak is grotesque.
I’m all for love, but if you are atttending the royal wedding, I kind of automatically don’t like you .
Ask the busboy. I'm sure he's secure.
Quote Tweet
The real story here is why are there so many illegal leaks coming out of Washington? Will these leaks be happening as I deal on N.Korea etc?
British MP Michael Gove: these women have more “dignity” and courage than you will ever have, you vile, hardened fragment of shite.
Wasn't this the "evil plan" in the last Bond film?
Quote Tweet
Putin & I discussed forming an impenetrable Cyber Security unit so that election hacking, & many other negative things, will be guarded..
Apparently I’m an idiot for paying taxes and paying my bills . Thanks bro’ ! what WAS I thinking? #MakeAmericaPickUpmyTab
I consulted with my 10 year old daughter. Tragedy averted. I feel validated
Again. I want to thank Spike Lee. For making the extra-ordinary effort of walking and squeezing his way across a crowded room at Cannes to do the right thing. Above and beyond. It was remembered . It was much appreciated .
Exactly WHERE and WHEN did I say I was “fed up with Canada”? I am, however fed up with lazy, dumbass click-hungry news outlets like yours
During the commercial breaks for “FRIENDS” , the entire cast would chant “Hail Satan...Hail Satan..” little known fact. I saw it the internets.
“ I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine to five hours.” Hunter S Thompson
Genocide? Extermination? I'm against! But I'd be happy to rearrange your knee or other extremities. twitter.com/DrDavidDuke/st
This Tweet is unavailable.
Congratulations on your Pulitzer win. The album was brilliant and deserves every accolade .
Never the left nor right have an exclusive on bad governance , greed or corruption. We’ve seen plenty of oppressive regimes from both
Total cost of bun Cha dinner with the President: $6.00 . I picked up the check . #Hanoi
"Elitist" apparently means I can spell. twitter.com/ArmyPatriot1/s
This Tweet is unavailable.
This Weinstein story is deeply personal to me--and far far far more personal and painful to people I love and people I care about
He meant to add: “….unless a MILF three-way is involved. Then it’s totally okay. It’s right there in the bible.”
Where’s the loud, vocal support for these women? Mostly a shameful silence
The quality, tenacity and depth of work on this story is beyond my wildest imagining . Absolutely incredible
(2) …and see who lives there and their triumphs and their struggles. The racism and ignorance of our leaders is absolutely appalling.
Almost 30 years standing on my feet as a line cook and a dishwasher. Proudly. So, yeah . Fuck you. In the lungs.
Major chain hotel breakfast. that the eggs come automatically with a ramekin of ketchup makes me sad and worried for the fate of the world.
Watching the media tiptoe around its decades long silence on #Weinstein makes me miss David Carr even more ferociously
Must to stop Moose and Squirrel!
New hire? twitter.com/TenaMarkham195
This Tweet is unavailable.