Like everything in life, homelessness is what you make it. I chose to make a success of it
I suggest wives run along to drawing room after dinner so we men can discuss important affairs and inconsequential flings
I screamed lovingly at them: millions of kids would kill to be in The Michael Jackson Juniors. Now keep practising
The Brit bands at Glastonberry were pussies. Man, you can't have skinny car wrecks like Blah headlining when they can barely stand for 90 minutes
I found an obscure version of the Bible in which Jesus falls in love with a very talented singer-songwriter
Even though I am having a little me time for once, I have still been reading the British newspapers
Gordon Brown arrived desperately out of breath, and was ushered in with the words, 'Tsaralan will see you now'
As I told its good burghers at a hastily convened personal appearance, I've rather fallen in love with Luton South
I find myself gripped by a sort of Byronic disillusionment with formula one
I miss Pete desperately
I look just like that Fragonard painting, only with better use of collagen
It's great being asked to voice raccoons and stuff - I love to make movies that my kids can see
No way am I going to relax now I have a million followers on Twitter
I ignore what small-minded people say. I have always refused to be around that kind of negative energy
Have some respect, humorists! Just let me be great!
Even if you're born in a country where per capita GDP is $800. The only thing holding you back is you
People are saying Spandau Ballet are just reforming for the money, but nothing could be further from the truth.
People keep asking whether the credit crunch means I'm going to be a bit more cuddly, and I reply, 'Shat up'
The misconception is that TV product placement takes something away from the moment
If Barbra Streisand can say a painful goodbye and then vanish for ever, so can I