Seeing the pictures of Katie canoodling with that cage fighter in front of our kids was the worst day of my life. "It was the worst day of my life," I told whichever magazine whose turn it was to get that hour's World!!! Exclusive!!!
I know people may be bored of our divorce now. Even I'm bored of our divorce now. "Even I'm bored of our divorce now," I told the BBC, breaking my silence again. "I think people want to get back to my music." The reporter said it was lovely I hadn't lost my sense of humour.
I called another mag. "Close pals say I haven't lost my sense of humour," I exclusively revealed.
Of course, my number one priority is that the kids aren't affected by all this. They need continuity. They need things to stay as normal as possible – and that means constant TV camera presence, playing their winsome part in paparazzi shots, and their parents discussing every aspect of their lives across a range of content delivery platforms. I'm not pitching for Celebrity Dad Of The Year – although it would be an honour to be nominated in the same category as David and Brad – but I think I've managed that.
But mainly it's been incredibly stimulating for me creatively. Bob Dylan was massively inspired by marital disintegration, and I can totally relate. I've made some of my best reality TV in the past few weeks. In fact, unless I'm much mistaken, my new ITV2 series, Peter Andre: Going It Alone, will be my Blood On The Tracks.