Events include moaning, groping and of course crying – while the gold, silver and bronze for best self-publicist go to …
Mitt Romney's horse guy makes an appearance, Britain slips in the bronzing stakes – and the real world packs a punch
Curse of Cameron held at bay as he stays away from London – but is it really John Major acting as Team GB's good luck charm?
Forget Paul the Octopus and his run of World Cup predictions, all eyes are on Rafalca, the Romneys' four-legged friend
Weightlifting's main event, the clean and jerk, sounds like an item from the back page of a massage parlour menu
As Hazel Irvine tried to convince us Mark Cavendish would win the road race, her fellow pundit struggled to decipher third place
The Armchair Olympics: day nine