Declassified

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any bleaker, along comes Bono.

Elon Musk wants to beat up Vladimir Putin. Could be a ratings winner.

Russians get hit where it hurts: The gut.

As the world turns against the Russian president, he does still have an action movie star in his corner.

It’s been a traumatic week but at least we know the EXACT location of a potential Russian nuclear attack on Britain.

French president’s supporters tried and failed to use Tinder et al to bring out the youth vote. There is another way.

‘Pass the salt.’ ‘What? I can’t hear a thing you’re saying. Invade Ukraine?’

Were Italian League leader’s colleagues wearing masks in photo? Yes, he says, just blame it on the software.

Some politicians need no help, others need a great deal.

French education minister in hot water over island retreat, but who will be next to fall for Ibiza’s charms?

The UK government is making a big mess, but a German company that could help wants nothing to do with politics.

The French president hits out at the easiest of targets — the anti-vaxxers.

Look, let’s just pretend none of this happened.

Boris Johnson should own up, Sanna Marin did own up, and in Poland, they party like it’s 1999.

It’s time for the annual tradition of right-wingers getting cross about language.

Paris sets it sights on Wish, home to some of the strangest items imaginable.

You can’t buy a canoe in northern France, or a British pie.

US president lets rip at COP26 meeting with Camilla.

Greta Thunberg and a walrus lead the way at COP26.

Gas costs a fortune and the seas are literally full of crap.

‘If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.’ Unless you’re in politics.

To improve the EU, ditch the jargon and ramp up the violence.