Wikipedia:We are not as dumb as you think we are

At the end of the day you may think you are phenomenally clever, and/or that you are the world's greatest orator/debater. Some other users may not agree.

What you have to understand is we have seen it all before; every argument, appeal to logic or rhetorical tactic you can think of we have dealt with many times before you ever thought of trying it. If you can think of it so can we.

Simply put we are not stupid, and will see through whatever tactic you resort to.

Rhetoric

See also WP:CLUE

So please do not try to bamboozle us with walls of text or double talk (we can read between the lines) in the hope we will not see what you are really saying. We are neither a court of law nor a debating society, so resorting to rhetorical tactics will never work; oratory (not matter how awesome) is not going to win us over.

Obscureish

The using of foreign languages or gibberish to conceal policy breaches will not work. If it is a foreign language you are not going to be the only user here who is competent in it, thus, eventually, someone is going to be able to read what you have written. If it is gibberish people will not bother to understand it, as they will see it as wp:vandalism anyway. A subset of gibberish is "Engrish" either accidental (those who are under the misapprehension they can write English, or that translation software produces usable translations), or those who deliberately write "Engrish" to obscure what they are really saying or to make some point. It will be treated in the same light as Obscureish.

It does not matter which of these you choose, eventuality you will get a block for being overall a net drain on people's time and patience. You will at first just get advice or warnings but eventually the community will have had enough and invoke WP:CIR.

Note that as we are not a court of law (not even a maritime court), courtroom rhetorical tactics or overly legalistic language will not work (especially if its of the gibberish variety, unless you are a lawyer you do not understand how legalistic language works). We have our rules, that work our way.

Google Translate

We will soon see if you are using a translation software; they literally translate words and cannot get syntax or grammar accurate. We will soon figure out you cannot read or write the Queen's (or even the King's) English, and you will end up looking silly.

LOUD NOISES!

Shouting does not make your case stronger, or more convincing, in fact, if anything it will put people off. A GOOD argument will convince even if SOFTLY SPOKEN, a bad argument will be rejected even if is as '''EMPHASISED''' as humanly possible.

Walls of Text

Another (common) tactic is to present huge walls of arguments. Not only will many users not bother to read past the first thing they disagree with. But huge walls of text do not in fact make up for a well reasoned (concise) argument. In fact, many users will assume the opposite, especially true if it is also rambling, they will just assume you are making up for a lack of decent argument with verbosity, in the hope the sheer volume of words will drown out any dissent.

It will not work. Your teacher may be impressed if you use 100 words where 10 will do, we will not be.

Repetition

If you think that you can just keep on repeating yourself until we are suddenly enlightened as to your great intellect, then you are going to be disappointed. Asking the same question for the tenth time will not get you a different answer to what you got on the first through to ninth times. Asking for the same edit 15 times on a single talk page does not make your case stronger, or somehow force us to make that edit. If anything, it weakens your arguments in the eyes of experienced editors and may even be bludgeoning.

Of course, you can just keep repeating yourself like a broken record, in which case, someone will be along soon to "fix" you.

Logic

Nor will appeals to logic (which is subjective anyway), as we have polices and no matter how dumb they are it is how we do things.

Bias

See also: WP:YWAB

Yes we are biased towards verifiable facts (in wp:rs), telling us we are biased is not going to win us over.

Gotcha!

Arguments based upon what you think a user meant are not going to work, especially if the user tells you that is not what they meant. If a user tells you they do not support your argument and have said they never did, then they do not support your argument. They know their own mind better than you do.

Different IP/user accounts

It may have been a different account, but see wp:duck. If you add the same material to the same article in the same way, we are capable of using Holmesian deduction to work out it was all you. If you are going to use different accounts, it really is best to try and not draw attention to yourself.

Edit summaries

We do actually bother to check edits and not just look at the edit summary and go, "well that looks OK". We do in fact check what you did, so saying, "I have made one change", or, "Fix typo", when in fact you have removed huge chunks of text will be seen through. Ticking something as a "minor edit" will not magically convince us it's minor, so thinking you can sneak through some petty vandalism or POV push hidden by an innocent-looking edit summary will not work.

Inline citations

We do check these (as well as other wiki links). So putting in false or made up cites, or using the cite tag to hide comments or attacks will not work.

Public relations threats

You might think that threatening to take us to "the court of public opinion" might work for you and that the threat of being reported to the press will get you your way. This would be wrong; we are not intimidated by the press (ask the Daily Mail), and all you are going to do is make yourself look silly. And (in fact) is a quick and easy way of us getting our 15 minutes of fame.

Legal threats

See also: WP:LEGAL and WP:FREE

No, you are not protected by the First Amendment, as we are not a government body (and we are not necessarily American); we are a private one with our own rules. No one has a right (legal or otherwise) to edit here. Any more than I have a legal right to come round your house and stand in your living room shouting "this man ate my hamster" to any passer-by. This is a private body, not a national government, and so is not covered by any UN charter.

Wikipedia has a Foundation that reviews genuine and serious legal notices; however, posting threats on a talk page rarely (if ever) achieves more than making you look silly, and results in you getting blocked. A legal threat doesn't scare anyone. Ever.

Please do not make threats to report us to real or imagined watchdogs. Most have no say over how we act and may just make you look silly, and we are fully aware of this. We will not face any consequence, but you might end up with a block.

Occult threats

There is no such thing as magic (and many of us know far more about such things than you do). The only thing a curse or other magical attack will get you is a block. Nor do you have some special avenue to god, so don't waste your time invoking divine retribution or special insight (see WP:V).

You are not the black alchemist or the sorceress Arundel (nor are we Danbury Collins, the physic quester and chronic masturbator from the novels of Robert Rankin, and having no similarity to any person living or dead (what so ever)).

Withholding funds

Donations are voluntary, so if you threaten to not give Wikipedia money (which is a wholly free service) it will not care. Wikipedia can survive without your contributions.

Consequences

At first WP:AGF means efforts will be made to explain this to you. Should you continue in your belief you are considerably cleverer than we are you will get a block, and inevitably a full ban from even your talk page (after your umpteenth attempt to stun us with your eloquence and logic).

It is best when told "we are not as dumb as you think we are" (however worded) to take heed.

See also

• We were not born yesterday