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  1. Pinned Tweet
    2 Mar 2018

    Report: We Don’t Make Any Money If You Don’t Click The Fucking Link

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  2. 33 minutes ago

    Disturbing Facts Disney Would Never Want You To Know About Their Theme Parks

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  3. 2 hours ago

    Man Wakes Up From Bender With Financial Problems Solved

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  4. 3 hours ago

    How To Protect Your Personal Information Online

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  5. 4 hours ago

    Report: Average American Consuming 4 Ounces Of Cheese Right Now

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  6. 6 hours ago

    College Graduate First Person In Family To Waste $160,000

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  7. 16 hours ago

    Report: More Children Being Raised With Religion Of Pushier Parent

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  8. 17 hours ago

    Ethical Hunter Throws Duck He Shot Back Into Sky

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  9. 17 hours ago

    Top 6 Happiest Countries In The World

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  10. 18 hours ago

    Woman Always Thought She Would Have More Impressive Showerhead By This Age

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  11. 19 hours ago

    Dad Announces Plan To Honk When He’s Out Front

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  12. 19 hours ago

    While microchips aren’t being put in vaccines, they are frequently disguised as crackers or shredded wheat squares, or even enlarged into a 16-inch Sicilian pizza crust...

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  13. 20 hours ago

    Area Man Proud He Can Still Fit Into Car From High School

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  14. 21 hours ago

    Half-Shredded Banksy Painting Sells For $25.4 Million ?

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  15. 21 hours ago

    Sleep Easy, Gamers: The Original Team Of Developers Behind ‘GoldenEye 007’ All Have Robust Savings Accounts And Can Comfortably Provide For Their Families

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  16. 22 hours ago

    The Onion’s Guide To Socially Responsible Investing

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  17. 23 hours ago

    Bannon Defies Subpoena On Grounds He Digesting Wild Boar Whole Over Next 6 Months

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  18. 24 hours ago

    Most Terrifying Ways The Government Is Spying On You

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  19. Oct 15

    Intergalactic Animal Rights Groups Condemn Use Of Brutal, Unsanitary Planet To Raise Human Meat

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  20. Oct 15

    Bride Edges Out Bartender To Rank As Fourth Most Beautiful Woman At Wedding

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  21. Oct 15

    10 Photos That Will Make You Angry Because You Are A Strange Person Who Gets Upset At Pictures Of Wallets

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