After searching for a few weeks, I finally found a group that aligned with my values locally in Salt Lake City that would take my few items of furniture as a donation. The two men arrived this morning, smiling and extremely sturdy. Sometimes I delude myself into thinking that I’m strong until I watch a grown man casually pick up my desk like a lego. My true crime riddled brain quickly noted that I’d have no chance against these two.

For the last few days, I’ve been staring longingly at my desk, chair, and bed. It’s the first real desk I’ve had as an adult and, whew, that damn bed saw me at my worst this year. As they literally man handled these items though, I suddenly became giddy and wanted to shout, “take anything you want!” before realizing my apartment is basically already empty.

As I prepare to leave and return to a more nomadic existence for a time (who knows how long), I can feel myself breathing easier as the items to keep track of fade away. I don’t want any of them back yet I’m thankful for them all the same. Since I’m an anxious packer (ironic), I’ve been keeping track of how much space I have left in my car and realized that nearly everything will likely fit into just the trunk portion of my tiny Mini Cooper. The amount of joy I felt upon realizing that is hard to explain! Ahhh the freedom to pick up and go, go, go with ease. I’ll take the empty road over a house filled with stuff any day. It’s hard for me to imagine getting long term happiness from things.

I write this while leaning against a messy pile of sheets and my pillows on the floor, smiling at the emptiness.