“No , you cant go to wagamon.Its not a place meant for girls and you cant go there without your parents”, my mom shouted at my sister.We were on a short holiday to our native place in Kotayam.A couple of my cousins(all boys) were planning to go to wagamon and we thought of taking my sister along.
My sister turned from red to violet.But she decided to put up a fight.After a long and boring lecture on ‘vulnerablities of todays women’ orated with TV serial dialogues , my mom decided to give in. My sister could go.But we need to be back home by 6 PM.
I ve always wondered how it feels to be a woman.Im neither a feminist nor a male chauvanist.But sometimes I really empathise with the state of women in our country – esp in a very highly literate and educated community like the Keralites.There seems to be a list of constraints;a series of connected conditions;a set of predefined portfolios , based only on which a lady/girl/woman should act.A girl should be kept safe from pervert men.Of course I agree to it.But I defer with the means to ensure her safety.If a boy can enjoy the evening sun at the beach,the scenic beauty of the hill station- along with his friends, why cannot a girl? All her entertainment usually ends at the main gates of her house.Otherwise, she needs to be with her parents – wherein there will be additional conditions for how she should be carryin herself;how she should dress up.Gosh!!..The list is long.
I have always been an observer – of people.Of course I never miss a good view of the hot chick in office, like any other man does..But otherwise, I like to observe people and their behavior patterns.Many a times i have tried to categorise people based on their behavior patterns.I started with the basic separation – Men and Women. To be frank , I found the most random of behavior patterns in men in general , while i could get a pretty good categorisation with the women.Lets start with the ladies first, as it is my topic for today.Consider the simple process of walking to the restroom.Women always prefer to go there in a group.Albeit being in dire enmity with the group ,they behave as if they have come together for a common cause, forgetting all the strained relations.Is it the nurtured fear that there might be a pervert man hiding in the restroom and they are getting ready to fight him down??.. I dont know.But somehow , I find that many things that women do are suposed to be focused on ‘self help’ against men.
Men on the other hand are extremely random.They dont mind who is in the restroom-except of course if its a lady!My point is , they dont seem to have a hidden agenda for simple things.No Im not in fora debate on who is better , man or woman.I agree there are innumerable bad things that men do.But thats not my focus today.
Coming back to our topic, I feel that even though education and liberalism has freed a lot of premonitions from our women , the yesteryear generation still holds on to some ‘abnormal’ beliefs and prejudices.And i am currently observing a fight between the current generation and the previous – simply put, between my mom and my sister.My sister belongs to the generation of ‘living relation ships’,gender equality and mixed college hostels.Though these are still alien to Kerala and probably the rural south India till the borderline of Bangalore, what if she goes out and starts living in a place like Delhi.She is always taught to be wary enough while dealing with boys.She cant invite her male class mates home.Its still a taboo.And the last time she did , my neighbour aunty created a furore calling up my mom’s cellphone at her workplace.I feel that we are just fuelling the urge within our ladies to break free , when we put more and more conditions on them;more and more constraints. One of my girl cousins got herself in to a culture shock and later into depression when she went to pursue her graduation in a college in Delhi.She couldnt adjust with all the things that girls around her did!.
Of course I dont agree with all the living relations and the assosciated consequences of it, but my point is , let us give more freedom to our girl children, our teen sisters, Let them go out and enjoy with their friends.I find that my sister is old and bold enough to understand that eve teasing is a ‘mania’ and that a strong stare back at the oggler will give him the fear of his life.And If not my mom,come what may, I have given her the permission to slap the pervert man in the bus, in the train , if at all he thinks of mischief.And my dear ladies, please understand that all men arent looking for an ‘opportunity’.I know i need not even tell this to todays young generation as they know all their friends in and out.But this is a request to the older and narrow minded people who think all of us are up to some mischief.Of course , we respect the experience and wisdom of your age, but lets understand that the better equipped your daughters are to deal with a situation, the more chances that they will be able to help themselves when they are faced with a situation.
Lets give more freedom to the girl child.Let her not stare out of her window and envy the boys playing outside.
PS: The first time i saw a lady smoking was in Inorbit mall,Malad,Mumbai.As me and my friend finished one fag each , she had finished 4 and was on to finishing a whole packet while she finished with the big novel she was reading.We couldnt digest it and left the place.Well , the other side of liberalism?or too much liberalism maybe…