Wondering how much to spend on a wedding gift? It’s a fair question—as socially distanced wedding invites start to pile up, dollar signs might also start to flash. The idea of having to spring for flights, hotels, bridesmaid dresses, and then—on top of everything—a wedding present for each occasion can become a serious source of stress for wedding guests. Complicating matters more is the seeming lack of concrete wedding gift etiquette. Questions, like how much to give for a wedding gift, start to come up. When do you buy the gift? Can you buy gifts outside the registry? Is giving cash gauche? Here, answers to these questions and more, with expert insights from Kylie Carlson, the CEO of the International Academy of Wedding & Event Planning.
1. How much should I spend on a wedding gift?
According to a study from the American Express Spending and Saving Tracker, the average amount that a guest was projected to spend on a wedding gift was $99—but that’s if you’re a friend of the couple. Family members are projected to spend at least $127.
Even if you aren’t close to the couple, however, it’s not very considerate to spend less than $50 on a gift. If you’re a coworker or a distant friend, the minimum wedding gift amount you can get away with is $50 to $75. If everything left on the registry is over your budget of $50 to $75, it’s a good idea to get the couple a gift card to one of the stores where they registered.
2. Is it OK to give a group wedding gift?
If the only items left on the registry are well over your budget or you really want to gift the couple a big-ticket item you know they’ll love, join forces with a group of friends. And for bridesmaids and groomsmen who have already spent quite a bit of money on the bridesmaid dress, bachelor party, and shower, this is a particularly wise way to gift—the couple will receive a thoughtful big-ticket present from the wedding party, and each person can usually get away with spending a bit less individually.
3. Should I give a wedding gift that matches the price per head?
"The formality of the wedding impacts a number of elements, including time of day and dress, but there is no tie into the cost of the gift. What you gift the couple should be exclusively dependent on your relationship to the happy couple, as well as your own means. No guest should feel as though they need to overextend themselves with the gift because they are expected to wear black tie," says Carlson.
Similarly, just because your BFF had a 10-person wedding in their backyard doesn’t mean you should give them an inexpensive gift. Also, if you happen to be attending multiple events for the couple, consider this as well: you can use the 60-20-20 rule, which means spending 20 percent of your total budget on an engagement party gift, 20 percent on a gift for the bridal shower, and 60 percent for the actual wedding gift.
4. Is it OK to give cash as a wedding gift?
There’s nothing wrong with gifting cash. According to the aforementioned American Express study, one third of respondents prefer to give cash as a wedding gift. In fact, as most millennials are getting married later in life and already have well-stocked homes, they prefer cash to put toward savings over registry items.
